I should probably start by saying that yes, Dave#2 was a dream and completely adorable! We continued chatting for a week or so but he made the decision that maybe the difficulty in communicating with each other was a good enough reason to call it a day. We’ve chatted again since and I am happy to report to his fans that he has started dating a girl who can sign. He’s happy and even wished me all the happiness that he knows I deserve. After one date and he’s this perfect!
This one is another fairly quick one so easy reading to digest on your lunch break…… I met Dave#3 on Tinder (yes, I’m still using it because you never know). We matched and did the standard awkward opening lines and getting to know each other. He’s nine years older than me so I was hoping that the maturity would help. Hopefully he’s spent a few years already playing the field and maybe fancies something with more substance. No rush! And absolutely no pressure, but I’m just thinking ahead so I’m not wasting my time. Dave and I chatted for a week or so and then exchanged numbers where we continued our thrilling small talk and 20 questions games while learning more about one another. He was a food delivery driver for an independent company. He seemed like a genuine and very sweet guy; a little less extroverted than I usually go for but a nice guy all the same.
I did struggle to keep conversations flowing and it felt like hard work getting him to talk but I hadn’t met him in person yet and figured maybe he just wasn’t great with conversing via messages. We both agreed to try and arrange something quickly in order to meet up as we shared the view that we’d rather meet sooner and not waste time messaging; only to finally meet and not actually like each other. Now I am absolutely all for guys and girls sharing the responsibility for organising a date and I think it’s great when a guy is polite and let’s you choose the place. What I cannot get on board with is a guy who does this for every decision:
Me: “I don’t mind where we go. Do you have anything in mind?”
Him: “I don’t mind. No not really. You choose.” (Ok then so I did choose)
Me: “Do you fancy drinks or dinner?”
Him: “I don’t mind. You choose.” (So I said dinner)
Me: “What time suits you best? I’m free all day as I’m off work so whatever works for you.”
Him: “I don’t mind. You choose.”
You get the point! I ended up making the decisions for everything! Like I said, I completely get that he was being sweet and being a gentleman but in some ways it also kind of makes me feel like he’s a pushover. I already know that I could never be with a pushover. I need someone who challenges me and who is happy to take the lead sometimes. I have Daddy issues remember! I need someone who is strong willed and confident to try to fix those Daddy issues. Get your heads out of the gutter! I’m not looking for someone to be my Daddy; gross! We all know that girls look for partners who are similar to their Father figures; the man who first loved them unconditionally. I wasn’t lucky enough to have a Father figure (other than the one who abandoned me) so I know that I will struggle, but I need someone to replace that. I like to think I’ve learned enough about myself to know what sort of man I need (insert crying with laughter emoji here because I’m clearly not doing a very good job of finding a decent man).
Anyway, I’d put the trousers on and made every single decision for the date. The day arrived and, as I normally do, I messaged him in the morning with a simple “Hey, how are you? Still all good for later on?” To which I received no reply. The day goes by and the clock continues rolling through the hours and minutes and still, I hear nothing from him. It gets to half an hour before we are meant to be meeting and I send a message asking “Just checking everything is ok?” You guessed it! No reply. I heard nothing all night from him so got into my pjs and started watching a chick flick to cheer me up. Later on that evening my phone buzzed and I read the message on my screen…. “Hey. Sorry, wasn’t really feeling it.” What kind of apology is that? Also really?? If you’re not ‘feeling it’ send me a message in the morning saying something came up or actually you’ve changed your mind. Don’t leave me hanging all day. I’ve wasted my day off not planning anything in that would clash with our evening date. I’ve put on a nice outfit and styled my hair only to then sit in pyjamas and stuff my face, while watching a film that makes me want to kill myself because it only reminds me that my romantic life resembles the remains of a rabbit that has been hit by a car and repeatedly run over by other screeching car tyres (no rabbits were harmed in the writing of this post).
So. Dave#3 was not a success.
Me – 2
The David Experiment – 1