Delving back into dating was not something I have been looking forward to but, onwards and upwards. Or so they say. The first date I went on after the break up was way too soon but I figured it would be a good distraction and I wasn’t exactly going to lose anything by going on it. I ended up going on three dates with Lewis* (back to the changed names). We met whilst I was working my second job in a pub and he drunkenly came in. He’d chatted to me a little when I served him and then asked if I had a boyfriend. Part of me wanted to lie and say yes; mostly because I don’t think I was quite ready to admit that I was now single. Instead, I confessed the truth and told him I was single. He smiled and asked for my number. Meh, why not? What did I have to lose?
After a week or so of texting each other, Lewis suggested going for a drink. We arranged the date, time and place. As I parked nearby to the pub we were meeting in, Lewis messaged me to say he was already inside and asked what I wanted to drink so he could get the first round in. I had a 3am alarm set for a flight the next morning so couldn’t have any alcohol so opted for a soda and lime and sent a reply. Walking into the pub, there he was holding his beer and my cheap date drink. We did the polite hello (he was slightly less confident this time without his dutch courage) and he gave me my drink. The two of us found a seat and got to the small talk. Lewis was nice. He seemed slightly shy but he was a nice guy. He enjoyed his job developing software for a small company and showed interest when asking about my work. Once he’d finished his drink, I offered to get the next round in; it’s only fair and I’m all about splitting the bill on dates. He asked me for another beer. I hadn’t finished my soda and lime yet so got up to go and get his beer. As I stood he said “oh can I have a coffee as well?” Ok, I guess that’s fair, it’s my round. I bought his drinks and went back to sit down. I finished my soda and lime and sat for a while before deciding to buy myself another drink. Out of politeness, I asked if he wanted another to which he replied “yeah sure. Another beer for me”. Nothing about it being his round so he’d get them. Just flat out asked me for another beer. After this round, he didn’t buy another and neither did I. I had an early start so we called it a night and said our goodbyes.
The next day Lewis text me to arrange another date. Ok, he was a nice guy and I’d enjoyed the welcome distraction from the recent heartbreak, so I agreed and we set another date. This time we arranged a walk and then a pub for a drink. The weather was amazing so the walk was a perfect activity. The walk isn’t what’s important here. When we walked into the pub, I was first at the bar so ordered my drink. I looked at Lewis and asked what he was having. Just a polite question anyone would ask of the person they’re stood with. He ordered a beer and then told me he’d find somewhere to sit outside while he walked off.
Right, I guess I’ll pay for these then shall I?
We sat and talked more over our drinks. He asked me about the pay being cabin crew. I gave a rough idea that it’s poorly paid but it’s the price we pay to travel the world. He had the nerve to then make a comment that he earns more than double what I do!! Why am I constantly paying for the drinks then?? Luckily I had to work that evening in the pub so made a swift exit after the drinks.
I know what you’re all thinking. This was two dates with this guy and yet I said I had three. Yes, I did go on another date with him. This time we went for dinner. I bet you all know where this is going… The food was amazing so I enjoyed this date the most. I drove, again, because he’d, again, chosen somewhere within walking distance of his house. Another soft drink for me while he had a few beers. When it came to the bill I suggested we pay for our own drinks and split the cost of the food. Call me crazy but that seems fair right? Well that’s not how things went when the waitress brought the bill over. Instead, Lewis quickly chimed in and told the waitress we’d split things 50/50. So I had one lemonade while he chugged back 4 beers but I was still paying for half of them? Even though on our previous date, he’d made it clear he earns more than double what I do.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for splitting the bill on dates which is why I always suggest it but this was beyond ridiculous. Between the first two dates we had, he’d only spent £1 on a measly soda and lime for me whereas I’d spent well over £20. Then on the third date he’d sunk 4 beers compared to my one half pint of lemonade and I was expected to pay half? Why am I footing the bill for all of our dates? I’m not expecting him to pay for everything but at least make it fair!
You all know what I did though don’t you? I paid half the bloody bill, beers and all, and gave him a lift home when he asked for one (I’m laughing at myself as I write this so I’m with you all on that). Needless to say, I ghosted him after that! I’ve never ghosted anyone in my life but at 28 years old and recently heartbroken there was no way I could be arsed to waste more time with a guy that clearly wasn’t for me.
And so dating begins again…