Here we go…

Ok, I should probably start with a little about me and why I decided to start this blog. So here goes.

I am a University Graduate currently working in the travel industry in my mid twenties. The bit that always seems to surprise people is that I’ve never had a proper boyfriend! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated guys but nothing longer than three months and they never went into that elusive “let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend” phase. Dating has become the hardest task possible; even harder than writing my dissertation. At least with my dissertation I could look at countless books and research my topic. Dating has no guidebook and no one will tell you if you’re doing it wrong. Dating apps, dating websites and social media has taken over the old fashioned way of meeting people so it’s become much harder to date! Men and women are constantly looking for perfection in a partner and unfortunately most of them are too stupid to realise that perfection doesn’t exist in another person. The grass isn’t always greener!

At 26 it still sucks not knowing what it’s like to be in love (or to have someone love you back for that matter). It sucks not being able to know what being in a relationship feels like but through my years of kissing frogs I have picked up some pretty funny, and sometimes disastrous dating stories. When my friends started to realise what horrible luck I had with men, they started telling me to document my dating habits for the amusement of others. University housemates threw around names like ‘Fifty Worst Dates’ as a title for all of my unfortunate tales. Well 6 years on I have finally decided that I will in fact go ahead and tell my mishaps with men! I hope you find them as amusing as everyone else seems to.

Now a few ground rules before I begin delving into my endless closet of dating skeletons –
1. All names of my frogs will be changed
2. Sex will only be discussed where absolutely, crucially necessary to a tale

For now I think they are the two most important things. If I think of anything else, I’ll add that in later.

Now for a quick bit into my past to give you a better idea of my history with men before I started dating…. (This info might provide a little insight)
When I was a toddler, my Dad cheated on my Mum and left her with three daughters while he swanned off around the world with his mistress (his much younger blonde bimbo secretary. I know what a cliche). So anyway, I was doomed to grow up with Daddy issues right from the start. As a kid I wasn’t interested in boys at all unless they were my friends. Although I wasn’t necessarily a tomboy, the majority of my friends were male and I liked it that way because we were young enough that they didn’t care what I looked like. Girls had cooties at this point and boys were just smelly. All we cared about was when we were going skateboarding! I had nothing to worry about….. Until I hit 16 and my boobs grew in! As soon as puberty struck, I suddenly realised that boys cared what I looked like and I was supposed to act more like a girl. All my friends were going out with boys and getting down and dirty in the bedroom but I was not interested. I got called frigid more times than I can count but that never bothered me. I wasn’t forcing myself to do anything that didn’t feel right. Besides I wanted to wait for all that stuff with my boyfriend (look how that turned out. Again, that’ll come later). At 18, after school and college, I decided to take a gap year before going off to University. This is where I entered the realms of hell – also known as dating and men!

Now that I’ve given you a quick run down of the bits before I started dating, let’s get to the good bits! Sit back, relax and enjoy while I take you through my journey of the bad, the worse and the ugly of my dating life.

The Dates in order (click on each name to take you to the date)

Edward* – Cage Fighter
James* – Student
Josh* – Barman
Chris* – Delivery Driver
Paul* – Estate Agent
Dave* – Student
Callum* – The Big V
The Serious Bit
Simon* – Student
Andy* – Student
Mark* – Insurance Salesman
Colin* – Customer Service
Brian* – Builder
Richard* – Adventurer
Ollie* – Actor
Jamie* – Tree Surgeon/Builder
Jack* – Accountant
Some Kid
Harry* – Salesman
Tinder Tidbits
Adam* – Retail Supervisor
Nothing Like The Present
Rob* – Mechanic
Daniel* – Pilot
The David Experiment
David #1 – Something in PR?
David #2 – Teacher
David #3 – Delivery driver
David #4 – Pilot (Ergh, I know)
Ben* – Property Development
Derek* – Management
Tinder Tidbits; Take Two
Bad Things Come in Threes
Sean* – Stranger Boy Racer
Lee* – Customer Service Advisor
Scott – The Good Guy

 

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