Neil* - Sales - An Education in Dating

Another Hinge date. Other dating apps are available but they are all just as useless as each other.

We matched and very quickly organised a date.

He told me about his previous Hinge experiences and divulged that a previous date had told him she was looking for something serious so he ended things.

Hmm.

This is already screaming Amber flag.

I honestly told him that I wasn’t looking for anything casual. My profile clearly says I’m not looking for casual. I’m not rushing into something but I am dating with intention.

Neil* then messaged quickly to say he’s not looking for casual either.

He said he really wanted to go on a date because apparently I am “really funny”. Well, I already know that because good old Anthony* already told me a few dates back that my sense of humour is my only attractive quality.

But back to Neil.

Neil phoned me while I was on the way to the date asking if I was still coming. I wasn’t late at all but I guess he was feeling a bit worried I wouldn’t turn up; which to be fair, after one of my previous encounters, I don’t blame him for worrying! People actually do stand others up!

He waited in the car park for me to arrive and we walked in to the pub together for a drink.

Once sat down we got chatting and the conversation flowed pretty easily. We laughed a lot and covered a lot of small talk ground.

Then he asked me about politics.

Christ.

Politics is not my idea of good first date conversation.

I politely told him I didn’t think it was a good idea but he pushed. He really wanted to know my political views.

*rubs hands together*

I tried one last time to tell him I didn’t want to. I explained, very fairly, that I already knew we would have a strong difference of opinions. We come from very different socio-economic backgrounds. We are also different genders which does have an influence on political views.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t have different views! What I am saying is that ours are clearly going to be very different and not something we should discuss on a first date.

Turns out, he also has no idea what he’s talking about.

The harder he pushed for me to talk about politics, the more I realised he actually wasn’t as aware of issues as he made out he was. I ended up having to educate him on certain things. I also then, yet again, told him we should change the subject.

His words were “oh wow, I wasn’t expecting you to be so knowledgeable about it all”.

What were you expecting?

Turns out, he was impressed.

He had the opposite effect on me. It felt like he was looking for an argument where it wasn’t necessary.

We sat through two drinks of this and eventually called it a night. As we walked back to the car park he asked if I wanted to arrange a second date. He seemed keen to get a date in there and then.

Now, for the women who date men reading this, you’ll understand when I say I didn’t feel like I had a choice to say no because I didn’t know how he would react. It felt easier to just say a day the following week and it felt safer to cancel it over text.

Before I’d even got home, he’d already messaged me about having the second date at his place. I replied when I got home and explained I’d rather meet somewhere public.

Again, it feels safer.

Neil sent me a massage that said

“Look. Friends with benefits having political debates and drinking nice wine seeing how things go.”

Felt a little out of the blue to bring up the friends with benefits again like that. Also, just cleared up for me that this was going to be a waste of my time.

It’s actually easier for you guys and for me if I just post screenshots of our next few messages. I am very polite which is unlike me when I’m calling out shit like this but I do call him out for hiding the friends with benefits situation he’s looking for. Especially because I asked him about it before the date.