Scott – The Good Guy

I want to start this post with an apology. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write anything for a while. There is a reason behind it. A big one! Brace yourselves people, this is going to be a long post. Get a cup of tea/glass of wine and some snacks because we’re in this for the long run right now…..

You ready?

The reason I’ve been quiet for so long is because I have managed to bag myself a boyfriend!! A fully fledged, living, breathing boyfriend. Before I go on anymore I have to apologise again. I’ve had said boyfriend for a while now but with the blog awards looming I decided to keep him quiet until they were done with [on a side note, I didn’t win the award]. Once the blog awards were over, life just kept getting in the way of writing a blog post about it. I guess a part of me also felt like because I didn’t win the award what was the point in writing anymore; but that’s a whole other issue in itself. Anyway, although I’ve had a birthday since and am now 27 I got my first ever boyfriend at 26 years old. I’ve managed to keep him for coming up eight months now. EIGHT MONTHS!!!

I’ll go back to the beginning. We met on Bumble (the dating app) where I was trying to find guys to give me new blog material. There I matched with Scott (no asterisk needed because that’s his real name). His pictures were nice, he was very handsome and so I figured why not! For those who have never used Bumble, it’s basically the same as Tinder in the swipe left and right sort of way except that it’s designed to give women the control. If you match with someone the girl has to message first within 24 hours or the match disappears. So I had to message first! Oh Christ this isn’t ideal for me because I’m useless with chat up lines. My solution? Google. I kid you not my exact search on Google was ‘best chat up lines on dating apps’ and I promised to use the first one. Life is low when you have to Google search chat up lines. The top result was my winning opener so I quickly copied it down and sent the message. Sorry Scott, I also sent the same message to about 4 other matches. It was research… for science… maybe. Within ten minutes he replied. Oh right I should tell you my chat up line, you might want it for future use. Thanks to Google I sent, “tell me two truths and one lie”. Scott’s reply was “you’re very beautiful, Virgin is better than British Airways, we’re going for dinner this weekend” well unfortunately work was taking me to Antigua that weekend so no dinner plans for us so it must have been his lie. Instead we arranged to meet for drinks the following week.

To be completely honest with you (he’s said this too so will agree with me) neither of us were that fussed to begin with. Yeah we had a good laugh together and he was amazing at fitting in dates whenever worked with my work rota but I don’t think either of us were really that bothered about whether it was going anywhere or not. After about a month of talking and a few dates, Scott went on holiday with his Dad and brother. We didn’t talk much while he was away and I figured, like every other time, things were beginning to fizzle out and it was the end. I was wrong and boy am I glad about that now. When Scott returned from holiday he messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up again; I agreed. We had a good laugh together so why not! From there things naturally progressed but not too quickly. We spent a lot of time meeting for drinks and dinner or afternoon coffee (hot chocolate for me). After only 2 months of dating we decided what the hell and booked a few days away in Prague. I mean I’m not conventional so this was ok for me. I was a little nervous leading up to it though; what if he murdered me while we were away? What if something bad happened? I mean, I don’t really know this guy that much do I? My worries were put to rest when I fell ill less than two weeks before our trip away. I was really ill with something caught on a work trip. Scott had time off work as it was just after Christmas (I know, sorry it really has been that long) and this wonderful man came over and sat with me nearly every single day. He just sat with me while I was unbelievably ill and watched rubbish films with me and cuddled me. It was his idea of hell cuddling me on the sofa watching movies but he did it anyway. All my fears of going away together melted after that and I could tell he was alright. I mean, what guy spends his time with a sick girl knowing he won’t get anything in return? A good one.

I am always honest here so another truth is that I still wasn’t 100% sure how I felt about Scott at this point. I think I was scared, terrified in fact. Here was this guy who I liked and normally that means something will go wrong and he’ll get rid of me. But instead we were planning a holiday so soon! A part of me knew I liked him but another part couldn’t tell if maybe I just liked the idea of him wanting to be with me. I told my friends that I’d see how Prague went but I think I knew it would go well. Jesus I was optimistic about a guy! That never happens.

Skip forward and Prague was amazing! It was one of the best holidays I’ve ever had. It snowed and we explored the city. Scott had booked a beautiful hotel. We held hands and kissed on Charles bridge. He messed around picking me up and throwing me in the snow. We laughed (a lot) and spent the time really getting to know each other. Cue the romantic music in the background because I don’t know what to tell you guys other than, it was perfect! No funny stories about things going wrong I’m afraid. I started falling hard for Scott during that trip. No guy has ever treated me like this before or made me feel like I deserve to be treated like this. He was and still is of course the best I’ve ever had (yes, in that way too. Really. The best ever! Sorry, Scott for making that public knowledge).

Once back from Prague things continued on. We spent time meeting each other’s families and planning more trips we wanted to go on. I met his boss and work friends. I was and still am one half of a couple. When the hell did I become someone’s girlfriend? Scott and I carried on growing stronger and stronger together. Obviously I had no idea what I was doing. At some point the reality started to settle in that maybe I’m not cut out to be someone’s girlfriend. I was scared everyday that he might break up with me after realising I’m clueless and he’s better than me. I’d lie awake at night and look at him just to remind myself it’s real; I’ve found someone and he’s still here. Sometimes, like a weirdo, I would sit and just look at Scott. I liked to just take him in and admire how damn good looking he is! He’d catch me staring and shake his head with a smile. He lets me do it now. He knows I’m just looking and he understands why. It’s because by this point I’m falling in love and staring at him like a psycho just proves to me he’s really there.

Since then we’ve been on more trips to New York, Mallorca and a trip to Centre Parcs with his family. We see each other when we can which for me isn’t enough but we make it work. We’ve had Valentine’s day together and birthdays together. The poor man has experienced coming into the bathroom to see a naked me crouched on the floor with wet hair and throwing up in the toilet crying! Scott is an absolute Saint who treats me like a princess. Skip back to my first ever Valentine’s day with a guy in my life! I bought him tickets for us to watch his favourite football team on Valentine’s day (I know someone get me some goalie gloves because I’m a keeper). He went one further and bought me a designer purse and surprised me with roses. Jesus it’s amazing I went so long not knowing how much I love all this soppy stuff. For the first time ever I’ve told a guy I love them. Granted we were out with my friends in Brighton and I drunkenly told Scott I love him in the middle of a gay club. I believe my words were “I don’t know if I am but I think I am. I mean I don’t think I’ve ever been in love but I think I love you”. Smooth girl, real smooth. He didn’t say it back. He smiled at me and said “you’re the most amazing girl in the world”. I’m ok with that. Can’t force these things and besides I think he does love me really but just won’t say it out loud yet.

Also seriously why did no one warn me that being happy in a relationship brought along the extra fat pockets on my stomach, thighs and arse! This happy weight is something I never knew about. Be warned people; being happy makes you fat (well slightly bigger. I’m exaggerating).

Now? I’ve settled in. We have a very open and honest relationship. I can talk to him about anything that I’m worrying about or feeling. I feel like maybe I can do this. I am capable of being a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I’m scared. I worry if he feels distant or has an excuse not to see me. I’m a ridiculous worrying mess sometimes when it comes to us. He jokes that I worry about what day of the week it is (I don’t). The reality is I’m scared that he doesn’t love me yet. If after this long he still doesn’t love me will he ever? I’m scared every single day that Scott will break up with me. He might find someone better or someone that hasn’t put a load of happy weight on. He might get bored of being so incredibly patient with me. There might be some awful excuse to end it with me. That’s what all those other guys did to me. I live in fear of losing this because all I know is men hurting me. All I’ve ever known is that I’ve never been good enough for someone, anyone and yet maybe I am now. I just need to figure out how to let go and enjoy it. I need to trust that if Scott becomes unhappy with me, he’ll tell me. I also need to trust that he won’t hurt me unnecessarily. He’s a good one and I can’t wait to see the future. In the mean time, if I go quiet again for a while it’s because I’m happy. If you see a blog post soon, it’s either a funny story about Scott and I or there’ll be a shortage of tissues because I’m crying and heartbroken

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Sean* – Stranger Boy Racer

Yes, the job title of this guy sounds intriguing. It’s not exciting, I just don’t know what his actual job is so this will do. You’ll understand why as the story unfolds.

As your detective skills have already determined from reading my previous posts, it’s clear that I work as cabin crew. On this particular day after landing back from a long haul night flight, my car was dying for a drink so I stopped at a petrol station on the way home to satisfy the poor thing. It was this supermarket petrol station that set the scene for my oh so romantic encounter with Sean*, the stranger boy racer. I’m going to inspire you to imagine how this looks for an outsider. Yes I am in full uniform which some may find attractive (I don’t) however, after working a nine hour night flight on about 4 hours sleep for the previous 24 hours, my hair was a mess, my make up had slipped from my face and I’m pretty sure it was hard to determine whether the dark circles under my eyes was smudged eye make up or genuine evidence of how shattered I was. To put it bluntly, I looked like a zombie from an apocalypse movie who had just happened to stumble across the uniform of a flight attendant and put it on for kicks.

After paying for my petrol and buying a much needed sugar kick in the form of a toffee crisp, I got in my car and willed myself to start the journey home. As I was pulling away and driving towards the exit, I could see a car start to jolt forward from one of the petrol pumps that was to my left. This car kept coming forward towards me so I had to swerve to the right of me to avoid being hit. The other car stopped and I followed suit. I looked to see some guy who couldn’t have been any older that twenty looking at me and getting out of his car. Again, I followed his lead and got out the car and vaguely remember the words “What is wrong with you? Did you decide to just not look at all when you nearly drove into the side of me?” He just stood there and looked at me for a minute. Ok this feels uncomfortable. His excuse for why he’d nearly smashed into my car was ridiculous. It’s something you think would be really cute to hear and some awful screen writer somewhere has probably used it as the way two people meet before falling in love. To me it sounded like the stupidest thing I’d ever heard and I almost felt insulted I looked like the kind of girl who would fall for it. I kid you not when I tell you that his reply to my anger was “I’m so sorry. I saw you getting back into your car and I needed an excuse to talk to you because I think you’re stunning. I figured even if I did hit you, the bump in my insurance would be worth it.” Please, Lord, give me strength. Naturally I was a little speechless by this. I looked anything but stunning and I’m pretty sure I was wearing a big sign on my forehead saying ‘Fuck off. I am not in the mood’. He continued on to ask me for my number like it was the most normal thing in the world after he’d nearly rammed his modified Renault Clio into my passenger door. First of all, get rid of those stupid wheel rims and throw out the awful low modified bumper you’ve got; you’re not 17 anymore buddy. Second of all, absolutely no thank you! I politely declined, muttered something about being more careful next time and got back into the car to make my escape and get to my bed!

What guy in their right mind thinks that would be the best way to get a girl’s number? I mean, obviously he was a little cocky and thought I’d fall weak at the knees at his grand gesture but what sonny boy over here didn’t think of was the fact I just didn’t care. Boys, if ever you think it’s ok to nearly drive into a girl as an attempt to get her number… Think again. First of all, it’s stupid. Second of all, it’s stupid. Third of all, it’s stupid. I do hope the little tyke finds a girl who’s heart melts at his risky attempts of romance. I, however, will move on to find a man who does the old fashioned stuff that doesn’t mean a nearly smashed up car.

Tinder Tidbits; Take Two

Previously in the post titled ‘Tinder Tidbits’ I posted pictures of messages that I had received and also sent while toying with the popular dating app. I also included pictures of messages not on Tinder. This post is mainly just pictures of various messages on various social media platforms or means of contact all in one place. I figured the title just lead on nicely from the Tinder Tidbits post.

This first one really is from Tinder.

normal-looking

I mean, is it a compliment? I get the impression he didn’t mean it as one but decided as an after thought ‘actually if it makes you feel better take it as a compliment but yeah you’re kind of normal looking’. Apparently I’m not anything special to look at but on the plus side, at least I’m normal looking. Um, thank you?

This next guy took a different approach in complimenting me. After I didn’t reply to his first message, he waited a whole nine months to message me again giving me my compliment. Much better than normal looking. I just hope I am still sexy!

still-sexy

As you can see, this next one was via Facebook. I am not friends with this person and have never ever met him but he sent me this random message! I mean, he’s got balls I have to say and his complimenting skills are top notch compared to other guys previously so bravo my friend.

f-beautiful

This next set of messages consists of three photos from one night and one from about a month later. The dates are on the pictures with the messages. This is a guy that I met years ago through a friend of mine. We never dated but we are friends on Facebook.

There seems to be a common view that women are more likely to show signs of needy behaviour or act clingy with guys. Men worry that if a girl messages too much, she’s obviously a psycho who will trap him into a relationship or even worse…. marriage!! God forbid you message someone more than once in the space of seven hours. Saying that however, this guy really takes the prize for needy behaviour….

Well he’s certainly persistent. Also extremely charming obviously. To add the icing, cherry and little sugar swirl decorations on the cake…. he has a girlfriend!!

Ah you’ve got to love the wonderful world where phones can take screenshots of the stuff you really want to see again and again and again.