So getting back into the dating World means going on the apps. I do not enjoy them. There is not one single part of being on the apps that I find fun.
I will actively avoid going on and swiping.
I’ve lost almost all of my confidence in myself including my ability to even talk to people. My previous post let you all in on the fact I feel ashamed of myself for where I’ve let myself fall to.
I’ve put on a lot of weight; I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I’ve also fallen out of love with the gym and have zero motivation to find that love again.
Regardless of this, I’ve forced myself to get on and swipe.
It has been painful, to say the least.
I barely match with anyone which is why I blame myself for the way I look. How could I not? The apps are purely based on looks and I’m getting no matches.
You do the math.
Then, one day, I matched.
With Anthony*. A graphic designer who lives a few villages over from me.
Conversation was mostly small talk. We agreed to meet for a drink fairly quickly. It’s always easier to get it out of the way sooner rather than later. It saves the feeling of making a new pen pal.
The date isn’t important so please forgive me for skipping over it. It was relatively run of the mill. Lots of small talk and asking questions to get to know each other.
We sat for a reasonable amount of time chatting and had a few drinks. Then we said goodbye and went our separate ways.
It wasn’t awful.
The next day though, I received a message from him on the app (we hadn’t swapped phone numbers so solely communicated on the app).
“Hey Georgie. I had a really nice time last night and you made me laugh a lot. I’m really sorry, but I’m just not interested in seeing you again.”
Ok. No dramas. At least he was honest. I replied thanking him for being honest and wishing him luck with everything.
He should have left it there.
He should not have replied right?
Well, Anthony decided to message again to give me feedback.
“Yeah, it’s just that I did have a really nice time. I’ve thought a lot about it. But I wasn’t really attracted to anything about you except for your sense of humour.”
I’ll tell you this for free mate, I’m not that funny!
When I questioned whether he was really telling me that all I’ve got going for me is my sense of humour, he tried to argue and say he wasn’t really saying it like that.
Then he blocked me.
He blocked me before I could take valuable screenshots of our messages and before I could give him feedback on his terrible form.
So, as it turns out, I really have let myself go.
I’m not physically attractive, I’m obviously not good at holding conversation and clearly not intellectually attractive…
But at least I’m funny.
If nothing else, I can always remember that I’m funny.