So after the American ghosting situation, I have some thoughts. Naturally, I’m going to air those thoughts because I think a few people might have felt the same at some point. These thoughts also made me think about how dire the dating situation is for everyone at the moment.
After the American left the scene I found myself brushing it off. I just kept telling myself “oh well, onto the next”. I acted like it didn’t matter because he obviously wasn’t right for me.
When I had spoken about him, I got the impression everyone just assumed it wouldn’t work out anyway because of the distance. After it ended, the attitude of people felt very dismissive. Kind of like ‘Oh well, Georgie always has trouble in dating and will just get over it easily’.
Even I felt like that!
After Ariana Grande said “Thank you, next”, it feels like everyone is expected to just brush it off.
But.
What if I actually liked this guy? What if I really did think we could have tried to make it work for as long as it did work?
The truth is, I was upset. In all honesty, I still am upset. I really did feel excited about it and everything he was saying made me believe he also felt excited about the prospect of what it might have been.
Those who know me well, will know that I don’t do well with spontaneous. I absolutely do not thrive in spontaneity. I hate the unknown. Last minute planning makes me feel really anxious. David* made me feel like maybe I could just go with the flow and see what happened with us, and I didn’t mind doing that!
But because of how dating is these days, I didn’t even feel like I was allowed to take time to be upset about this. The attitude with dating now is very much dust yourself off and try again. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
It’s become so void of feeling.
All your friends are happy in relationships and moving forward with their lives. They don’t have to worry about the dating world so they also brush it off like it’s no big deal. That’s fair though. I’m not criticising anyone for that.
It’s just tough when you do feel upset about it but you feel like you can’t say it out loud. People were already dismissive because of the distance. It might not have worked out but it’s also ok to feel sad about that when it doesn’t.
You’re allowed to give yourself time to be upset when something doesn’t work out. It’s also ok to feel some hope about a situation with someone. Hope in the dating World is literally all we’ve got now!
Also, you don’t have to explain to people why you don’t want to date them. I sometimes get sick of people asking me about dating. I don’t want to have to explain that I’m spending some time getting over someone else but because I didn’t put it on social media they don’t know about it. We should be allowed to say no without needing to give a reason. I’m trying to spend some time getting over something that I thought might have legs.
Instead, it just ran away from me.
Someone messaged me recently and said I was so brave for always putting myself out there when dating wasn’t going well. I replied and said I’m not brave. It’s not bravery. It’s a case of always reminding myself,
“What’s the alternative?”
One of my best friends and I say this all the time. What’s the alternative?
I don’t want to be single forever. I actually hope one day I’ll get married. So if I want to meet someone, there is no alternative to always putting myself back out there. It’s not bravery, it’s actually quite sad!
I just long to be loved and love someone back in a way I did once before.
Who knows. Maybe one day.
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