As you well know, I left the previous post at a bit of a cliffhanger. I warned you all that I would be getting to the serious bit in my dating story and we have now reached that one. Don’t worry, I will keep this brief and skim over the details because we have plenty more dating mishaps to come once this bit is over. If it wasn’t vital to my experiences with men then I wouldn’t bother sharing it but it appears to be extremely vital!
Where did I get to before? Oh yes, it was 2011 and I had just lost my virginity on a one night stand (I’m currently making a ‘cringe’ face at my computer screen). A matter of weeks after this, during the very early hours of the 3rd March 2011 I was the victim of a sexual assault. I didn’t know the guy but I remember the details of the incident as clearly as if they happened yesterday. As I said, I won’t go into details but once it happened my housemate found me wrapped in a duvet, crying on blood stained sheets.
That was it. It was reported to the Police who I have to give a big up to because they were amazing! I was looked after, saw an incredible doctor and was updated all the time about the progress of my case to find the man. That night changed how I saw men and how I saw myself. As you’d expect, I stayed away from men for a long time after this. As is quite common with victims, a part of me blamed myself. I began to question everything in my life to do with men. My own Dad rejected me. No one wanted to be my boyfriend. Now a man has treated me like I am worth nothing. What am I doing wrong to bring this all onto myself?
I did warn you it was serious. But I also promised to keep it short: so now that the dirty laundry has been aired out, we can swiftly move on to the next man and dating. What you should know is that it was roughly a year until I started feeling safe enough to date again. I learned that I needed to take control of my life back and not let this random guy win. I should also just let you know that don’t worry, I don’t blame myself for this anymore! I know full well it was not my fault and you’ll be glad to hear that the guy was eventually found and now resides in prison for his crimes against me and multiple other girls.
Serious bit over. Now breathe ladies and gents…….
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