How NOT to Flirt with a Girl Working in Hospitality.

I currently work two jobs. My main, full time job is working as Cabin Crew but on the side I also work shifts in a pub. Although my Cabin Crew role involves a lot more than people think, I suppose I’d still consider some aspects as part of a hospitality role; at least for the purposes of this blog post I will. Unfortunately in both roles I, like many other women in similar jobs, am faced with the absolute joy of men who think they are God’s gift to women and will make you weak at the knees with their flirting advances. Obviously I have worked with many men who have encountered similar situations but I can only write about what I, myself have endured.

So, Gentlemen, please rethink your flirting strategies before you decide to do any of the things below. These techniques do not work at all!

1. Telling Us To Smile

One of my pet hates is when a guy thinks he has the right to say “Go on love, show us a smile. I bet you’re so much prettier when you smile”. First off, thanks for calling me pretty; that bit might actually get you somewhere. Secondly, why the hell should I walk around smiling constantly just or your satisfaction? My guy mates will all joke about how women have emotions that are more up and down than a rollercoaster. It’s widely known that women, as human beings, have a whole range of emotions and sometimes our faces will make expressions other than a smile. When you sit or walk normally, just going about your business are you smiling all the time? Very unlikely. So why, when I’m working in a busy pub or on a plane full of people wanting things would I be smiling all the time? I’d look like a psycho! So, Harold, put your opinions about me smiling back into the hole you came from and tell me what you want to drink so I can carry on working a lot harder than your penis has been in years.


2. Calling Us Pet Names

Almost every single working day I get called ‘Love’, ‘Sweetheart’, ‘Babe’ or any other pet name. On the odd occasion, it doesn’t bother me that much. I can ignore it. But when someone repeatedly does it the whole shift, it feels gross. If you answer to it once, he’ll call you that for the rest of your shift. I normally point people to my name badge. Calling us pet names just makes you look like a creepy old guy and destroys all hope of us appreciating the flirt because the thought of being called any of those pet names by you for the rest of our lives is soul destroying. When you do it drunk, it’s even worse! It’s not cute.


3. Bribing Us With Tips

I am not a cheap prostitute. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about the money (I’M JOKING). But seriously, when guys stand at the bar with a ten pound note between their fingers and say “If you serve me next, I’ll make it worth your while”, it is laughable. Sorry mate but that £10 will buy you two beers and the 20p change that you plan on offering me does not appeal. Even if you walk away saying “keep the change” like the baller you wish you were, you’re still just a dick who thinks he can bribe me with money. I don’t care if the only women who love you are the hookers you pay minimal money to and no doubt laugh to their friends about your tiny penis. Don’t you dare ‘keep the change’ me because it’s one of the least attractive flirting techniques you have.


4. Insulting Our Co-workers

You’re a complete stranger to us. Our co-workers are people we spend a lot of time with. They’re our work family. Insulting our co-workers in an attempt to flirt with us is not effective. It doesn’t work in flattering us. I’ve been on both sides of this one. Once on the plane, I had a customer grab my attention and say “Can’t you serve me? Your colleague is so moody and you’re much prettier”. My first feeling wasn’t one of flattery, but instead made me think the guy was a complete prick. I just told him that it didn’t work like that and I couldn’t serve him for the flight. On the other side of this, I was working in the pub. I went to the next guy at the bar and asked if he was waiting. His friend whispered into his ear “oh it’s not the fit one”. That moment was completely humiliating for me. I looked around at the other girls I was working with. I get it, I’m not the prettiest girl in the world but I’m not the back of a bus! I’m not the ‘fit’ one who works in the pub but I’ll serve you beer and charge you the correct amount. I’ll do the job I am paid to do and I’ll do it well! I was mortified that he’d said it so blatantly and right in front of me. Instead of ignoring what he’d said I told him “oh, in that case I won’t serve you. You can wait even longer for the fit one to serve you instead”. Georgie 1, dickhead male customer 0. Once I’d spoken to my colleagues, they all called him a dickhead. Not one of them found it attractive that this guy had felt the need to belittle me. It doesn’t work insulting our colleagues in an attempt to flirt. It just makes you an absolute prick.


5. Physically Grabbing US

This one is obviously physical assault. It’s unlikely you’ll find one cabin crew member who has never been grabbed by a guy whether he was sober or drunk. Male crew have been grabbed too. And most crew will tell you they’ve been assaulted by both men and women. Apparently this breed of people doesn’t discriminate. Physically grabbing my bum is not an effective flirting method. Pulling on my skirt is also not effective. Children pull on my skirt to get my attention because they’re not tall enough. A grown ass man pulling on my skirt is just an absolute creep. You don’t see me bending down and tugging on your trousers to get your attention. Because I’m neither a child, nor a creep. One of my most memorable times having a guy grab me was within my first six months working as cabin crew. I was working a short haul flight during European festival season so it was busy and everyone was drunk on board. It was 7 o’clock in the morning and guys were absolutely hammered going to Barcelona! One guy grabbed my bum while I walked down the aisle. I turned around and politely told him not to. He laughed and did it again. I kept my composure and, again, asked him not to touch me. This guy really enjoyed pushing his luck. The next time I walked past him, he reached out and pinched my bum, yet again. Some women would laugh this off but, given my history, I was less than amused. Deciding that he wasn’t going to listen to my polite warnings, I leant down next to him and whispered in his ear just loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough that no one around me would hear, “if you touch me again, I’ll break your arm”. Let’s be honest, I’m not strong enough to break his arm but he didn’t know that. The message definitely got through to him loud and clear because he never even spoke to me for the rest of the flight. No one else had heard me so he couldn’t prove what I’d said but plenty of people had seen him physically assault me numerous times so WINNER!! So then lads, grabbing us is absolutely not a good way to flirt with us.


I hope this short but sweet guide has given you some insight into how not to flirt with girls or guys that work in hospitality. Why don’t you just be polite, be yourself and not be a dick! Peace out.


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