Ah, another date from a dating app. What could possibly go wrong?
This contender didn’t want to chat for long. He was keen to meet quite quickly and get a drink organised. So we did.
He was a (well, is a) police officer.
He chose a place fairly midway for us and we agreed an evening.
I arrived and suddenly panicked I didn’t know what he really looked like! All of his pictures were slightly different to each other and I wasn’t sure, so I spotted a staff member in the pub and asked for help. I had to do that awful thing and explain I’m meeting someone for a date but I’m not sure who it is.
Luckily, the young guy laughed and said he knew exactly who I was talking about and he was in fact, not bad looking! Ok, good start.
I walked round, we had an awkward hug and I sat down.
Small talk started and it was fairly pleasant. Then we started delving in to work related chat.
He’d already made a few comments about the fact I apparently don’t look like my photos on my profile.
*eye roll*
I look exactly like my photos because they were all taken within the last 6 months and although I’ve put on weight, I made sure my photos are ones that reflect that!
You’re not being catfished mate.
My friends have also looked at and verified that my photos are all a true likeness of me. He was obviously just disappointed. Which is fine because I think most guys are disappointed when they see me in real life.
He obviously decided to even the playing field because I was very quickly disappointed too! But not about his looks.
Kieran was telling me about his job and that he’d been moved to a different department during Covid. He now, in his words, did a “pink and fluffy job”.
I’m sure you can all guess where this is going.
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that (of course I was sure but I needed him to say it), so I asked exactly what he meant by the term “pink and fluffy job” to which he replied,
“Well, you know, a job that women mostly do”
Face palm.
Oh sweet Jesus. Please don’t.
I pushed for him to elaborate what the job is.
I can’t go into too much detail but what I can say is that he investigates cases of sexual abuse and assault towards women, children and vulnerable adults.
Having heard that, I politely suggested that maybe women are more successful in that role because they have more emotional intelligence than men to be able to cope with such hardcore cases. Maybe lots of men just aren’t able to cope with such difficult cases. I didn’t say it was true! I merely suggested it.
Two can play at his game.
Of course he didn’t like that.
He didn’t suggest a second date either.
Looking back, he had made some fairly misogynistic comments and jokes throughout the evening but I think I stupidly brushed them off as clumsy comments rather than his actual views.
Turns out this guy really does think women should stay in a kitchen and raise children and men are superior.
Naively, I didn’t think cis heterosexual men like that still existed in our generation. Sadly, they very much do.
So no second date with the man who felt victimised that I’d apparently catfished him and who thinks women should stick to ‘pink jobs’.
I don’t know how I’ll cope knowing he’s not Prince Charming.
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