Anyone who has had the pleasure of trying to date in the 21st Century will know how vile it is. It’s been overtaken by technology! When I was younger and people first started holding hands and ‘going out with each other’, it was easy. You’d say to someone the exact words “will you go out with me?” If they said yes, you were a couple. Done. If they said no, you walked away and moved on because they’d made it clear they weren’t interested in you. If you talk to your parents and grandparents about how they got together it would be a fairly similar, very simple thing. There wasn’t all this choice out there and hundreds of potential matches just a right swipe away. These days it’s all about one night stands, swiping left and right, basing decisions purely on photos, catfishing people with filtered and posed photos. It begs the question….
Has technology taken the romance out of dating?
Of course it has in the respect that it offers people more choice, so they’re less likely to stay in one relationship for as long as generations before us did. Too much choice confuses us all and we panic that we want to hold out for the right one. Dating apps give us all this choice. A plethora of cock and vagina if you will that overwhelms us all and makes us want to try out potential options, rather than just sticking with one who is actually pretty decent. We’re also growing up in a generation of people who are used to instant gratification. Technology in all aspects of life makes it easier to instantly get what you want and give you a buzz that temporarily makes you feel happy. You want to eat something delicious? Get on an app and order some food straight to your door. You want to watch a new film? Don’t bother with the cinema, there’s an app to get new films straight on your iPad. You don’t have to put any work into anything anymore. Gone are the days of putting in the time and effort to make a meaningful relationship work. If things get tough people walk away assuming it’s not right. It could just be a rough patch you have to work through together but instead they’re onto the next one they swipe right to trying to get that relationship high again.
Technology also gives people way more chances and means to cheat. Temptation is everywhere and more available than it’s ever been. People aren’t able to resist as much as older generations did because it’s no longer out of sight, out of mind. Not only that, but it’s easier to hide or cover up using technology. With so many different ways of contacting each other, people are finding it so much easier to cheat. God knows how though! I can’t even get one boyfriend, let alone multiple at the same time. I don’t think I even have the head space to have multiple men on the go. But I know that guys in the past have been dating me while messaging other girls. Remember Brian*? He was texting another girl while he was seeing me and used to message her while he was lying in bed next to me! On his modern technology phone he could get away with what I would consider cheating (he would disagree with me). So many people find themselves in a similar situation with technology driving a wedge between them and their significant other.
Instagram and Facebook bombard us all with images of our peers and friends in seemingly perfect relationships. Celebrity Instagram feeds show their relationships in the same way. They cherry pick the best bits of their relationships to show the world, but it doesn’t reflect the reality of the annoyance that your other half has left his dirty underwear on the floor, yet again. We look at the models with all the filters and make up and wish we could date people who look like them. Catfishing has become the norm with potential partners only seeing the best bits in photos that don’t actually look like the real thing. We set our expectations so high based on social media. The romance of getting to know somebody and falling in love with a personality is slowing slipping away from us. The romance of spending time with someone and actually talking, rather than checking your phone or trying to get the next Instagram photo, is gone. I know I do it too sometimes! Younger generations want the perfect aesthetics for their social media feeds. You could have the best personality but if you’re not hot enough then you don’t make the cut for a relationship. If your look doesn’t fit on the other person’s Instagram grid (see I’ve got the lingo) then it’s a no go. Does this mean technology has ruined romance?
On the other hand it has improved dating for some people. Long distance relationships work even better now with video calling, WiFi messaging that is free and even underwear with sensors and sex toys in so you can kind of have sex with each other miles apart. It’s crazy! Modern technology in dating also gives you the opportunity to meet potential partners you might never have crossed paths with. It gives us the means to keep in touch with potential partners even when our lives get a little busy. By chatting to each other via messaging before hand, you can figure out much earlier on if you’re suited to each other or not. It saves wasting time and energy going on lots of dates before finding out they’re wrong for you. But then does that fall into the same category as instant gratification? That need for every aspect of a relationship being sped up. Who knows, because I certainly don’t.
People can’t cope with too much choice because they’re so scared of settling for the wrong person. They strive for perfect and are obsessed with greener grass which unfortunately, technology aids via dating apps. The influx of dating apps means we have to keep up with them all to get the best potential matches only a swipe away. You have to get your A game on when it comes to opening messages to make sure you grab attention. We’re a generation always keeping busy, being handed lazy dating techniques and we just can’t cope with them. More people between the ages of 18 to 30 are single now than they have ever been! Granted, we’re a bigger population but still. It speaks volumes. Let’s give ourselves a break, put our phones down for an evening and maybe just chat to someone in person. Dating may not have killed romance, but it’s definitely changed it. Who knows whether it’s for better or for worse.