Once, twice, three times ghosted! Excellent. Granted, two of them then a few weeks later came back to apologise for ghosting me and of course included the “it’s not you, it’s me” line in one way or another. One of the guys is sadly Pete* from my last date. My first toe back in the water was successful, it seemed successful… and then it didn’t. Let’s start this chronologically though. Three Times Ghosted begins. The first one was a guy I met on a popular dating app with a bee theme where women have to initiate chats after matching. We...
One Foot Forward
Just keep going George. Carry on putting one foot forward and the other will always follow. I keep looking down at the ground and just watching my feet move heavily over the rocks and snowy path. The sound of my deep breathing fills my head and I can feel my chest trying so hard to catch my own breath. I start rolling my eyes and telling myself to keep moving my fat arse forward. The only way out of this is to keep going. There are so many good people around me. I can feel Al move quietly behind me,...
It’s A Date
So, I went on a date. First date. I went on a first date with somebody I’d never met before. We had been texting for a month or so. After Will* ended things with me and tore my World apart from the inside. Something I never saw coming. An inside job that completely floored me; I didn’t think I’d ever want to date again. I’d even said in my previous post that the thought of being near anyone else made me feel over anxious. I felt terrified to even try to date again. A friend of mine stepped in and...
From The Ashes
I promise I’m trying. I’m trying to rise from the ashes and be better. I promise I am trying to feel better. It’s been a struggle. I’ve hid it well though because nobody seems to realise how much I’m struggling. Hanging on by a thread. Don’t get me wrong: as in my previous post, everyone has been wonderful. I’ve been very lucky with support from all angles. I have found some difficult though. I suppose this might help as a ‘What not to say to a friend dealing with a break up’. I’ve had the opinions of “it sounds like...
From Me. To You.
I want to say Thank you. Thank you to all of you. I’ve received so many messages. More than I ever thought I would from people checking in, offering advice or places to escape to for a while. Dog walks, coffee dates, ears to rant to and anything in between! People I don’t know very well, people I haven’t spoken to in years, even people I’ve never even met; all took the time to just say ‘I’m thinking of you. I hope you’re ok’. My heart might be in pieces but from the absolute bottom of each and every shard,...
The Heartbreak Penny Drops
*Disclaimer: Since writing this post, the ghostbusters had obviously done a good job because he called me. He retired from ghosting and we had a long talk over the phone. Some of this post may not ring true to me anymore after talking. I understand more now, but that doesn’t mean I respect his decision any more than I did before. Another post will come from that.* People keep asking me how I’m doing. I’m not criticising them at all! They care and they want to make sure I’m ok. Equally, I think most of them are expecting me to...
The Elephant In The Womb
This was a post I needed to get out. My poor womb has become the hot topic of this post. As you will know, my relationship ended. This post isn’t solely about that. It’s about one part of it. One of the reasons (and I’m still not sure if it’s the only reason) that it ended was because of children. Will* has two. Two wonderful children who I grew to love very much over my relationship with him. Children I never even got to say goodbye to. Having grown up without a Father and how I’ve been effected by it...
The Ultimate Disappearing Act
Well. Here we are. Somewhere I never thought I would be. I agonised with this post. I wrote and rewrote it so many times. Words describing my pain filled this page. I had so many more to say; to share. Then I couldn’t share them all. Will* is a private person. I still love him so I couldn’t write them all. I couldn’t spill parts of me without sharing parts of him. I’m trying to respect him still so instead, this is a shortened part. A part that still keeps some for him. I need to begin because I don’t...
Being Loved For The First Time
It’s been a minute. Well, actually it’s been more like 10 hours. Things have been a little bit crazy over the past few years. I hope you’re all ok after it. I have lots to talk about regarding the whole Pandemic thing but first, I want to settle back in with something good. It’s big so prepare yourself. I’m in love (again). This time though, and in fact for the first time in my 31 years of existence, I am loved back. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you. It’s not that I didn’t want to; trust...
